Thank you all for being here today as we lay to rest a remarkable man.
My dad hated funerals and would probably be pleased to have a small one. I think he has been ready to go for some time, but I think despite his suffering he waited patiently until we were ready to let him go.
Some years ago, dad gave a eulogy for one of his dear friends and in his words he said “How do you define a man’s life in 20 minutes. The answer is you cannot”
This has been a rough last few years for all of us, but mainly on Dad. I want this to be a celebration of his life and his life was incredible.
His final years were handicapped by these diseases, like he was in this jail cell that only got smaller. And you could see how frustrating it was for him. I take comfort in that I feel like he is finally free from these diseases. Like he’s had a straightjacket removed and he is now free again to be who he was. I would say like an angel but we know how dad felt about religion and he would probably laugh at that. We are all so sad to lose him but I cherish the notion that he is free now.
While we cherished every day we had with him, I think we all should do our very best to have our memories of him be the younger man we all knew. The man in these pictures.
The Titan in the community he was. The ruthless businessman. The athlete. The man that loved to take my mom snow skiing in Tehran in the morning and then water skiing in the afternoon in Caraj Dam. The man that LOVED playing poker and laughing with friends and family and playing pranks. The man that would come home after a long day at work and a racquetball game to have dinner with his family and let Bailey eat dinner off the dinner table as he laughed.
Let’s remember the man that loved skiing and wearing his signature round sunglasses, refusing to wear a hat or goggles, no matter the weather conditions or temperature. Let’s remember the man that loved exploring the history of religion, particularly as it related to the social issues in Iran. Let’s remember the man that loved exploring the foundations of mathematics. He would drive us from Denver to Aspen and question us with math riddles the entire ride. I remember one of his favorite riddles was always what is THE most important number in all of
mathematics. Anticipating the aha moment, he would proudly say that it was in fact the number 0, followed by the constant reminder that Persians invented math. I remember I had a math teacher that would send home math riddles and he would take them and do them at night with me, or sometimes even without me. He loved the book Against the Gods, which was a book about odds and the theories of risk. He always said that business is basically just a form of math. Let’s remember that brilliant mind he had. The mind that created an empire in Gostaresh Maskan, his company in Iran, when he was basically my age.
He loved his chapter in the book published by Abbas Milani, “Eminent Persians: The Men and Women Who Made Modern Iran. This is in his obituary but I like the paragraph of how Mr. Milani described dad.
“(Ali’s) burly built, his athletic gait and deportment, his quick and bilingual wit, his impressive command of business trends around the world, his penchant for frank and honest discourse, his dedication to hard work, and his willingness to delegate authority enabled him and his partner…to establish one of the foremost construction companies in Iran in less than a decade.”
But MOST of all, let’s remember the compassionate, loving Father Uncle Brother Baba and Husband that he was and will continue to be in our hearts.
Dad really loved mom. He was also quoted in the book as saying, “only after my marriage to Suzanne did I really know what it means to be married.” He really loved his family and friends. His friends loved him and loved being around him.
Whether it was going on ski trips, joining him on one of his favorite dinner and a movie nights, playing poker, racquetball or having lunch with him. He was infectious. He enjoyed socializing. Loved going to parties and laughing and eating. The was the guy that had a group of people standing around him and all of them laughing hysterically at something he said or a story he had told. He would be the life of the party until his signature time he would be ready to leave and turn to my mom and say “sooo shall we go?” Even though he was a private person, he really enjoyed being around other people. He was not a home body.
Dad really loved working. He stressed to ‘always be of service.’ One of his many amazing traits was getting the best out of someone. Nobody was ever going to let him down. If he approached someone to do a task, however menial or large of a task it was, I feel like that person would give their maximum effort to not let him down. If you got a call from Ali Ebrahimi to do something it immediately got pushed to the top your list of priority. It’s really a testament of how much everyone respected him.
I always found it so strange how intimidated people were of him. People were legitimately scared of him. I remember we had a family friend that came to meet with him one day at the office. He was in his early 20’s and kind of trying to find his way and his career path and his dad suggested he meet with Ali Ebrahimi and get some advice and guidance. He came to the office and he was sweating through his shirt and told me that he didn’t sleep the night before. I told dad after and he just laughed. He never understood it either.
There were lots of stories like that from people until they got to spend time with him. And they saw how kind and gentle and respectful of a man he was. He spoke to people as equals. He was never above or below anyone. He treated people fairly. He saw the good in everyone. He would speak to an intern the same way he would speak to a diplomat, with respect and fairness and equality.
Dad always said to me “I taught you everything you know, but not everything that I know.”
He loved saying that. After I graduated college we were discussing me going to business school. I asked him why would I go to business school when I can learn more from him?
It didn’t mean much to me at the time, but in his later years he always told me how that was one of the proudest moments in his life.
He was the most patient man I have ever met. He never argued and was never quick to respond. He would listen and just listen. He was quiet, but when he spoke everyone would shut up and listen to what he had to say. Whether it were social or business, he commanded any room. When he spoke people would cling to whatever he had to say. He chose his words so carefully. I remember how often he would say, “I am not ready to talk about that yet.”
He was so calm and collected. I’m not sure I have ever seen him mad or angry. There was nothing to get angry about. In the grand scheme, everything was trivial. We have family, we have life. Life goes on, why get angry? Why raise your voice? What good does that do? What does it accomplish? Tandie and Angela each shared a fun story about him that echoes his ever present joyful personality.
A funny story that is so dad. When I was around 8 he came to DC so we went to dinner, dad let me steer the car on 495 (a 6 lane highway). Needless to say, I did a horrible job steering and we were all over the highway and got pulled over by the police. The policeman thought dad was drunk and for his sobriety test he asked dad to say the alphabet. Dad being dad, said “What??” and just started laughing. He said that is a dumb sobriety test because any idiot can say the alphabet. Unfortunately, dad was laughing so hard he messed up and got it wrong saying Q U R S T U V . I started crying because I thought he was going to go to jail, but the officer let us go and he just laughed the whole ride home.
“Dad and I went to lunch one day. And I remember we were sitting outside, I asked after the meal, “would you like some tea or coffee?” he said no “we are having café glacé, have you ever had café glacé?” Well I hadn’t and they bring us each one, he says “other fathers teach their children this and that about life, but I teach you how to have a café glacé” as he poured coffee over a scoop of vanilla ice cream. That just made me laugh and stuck with me for some reason, especially since in truth he has taught me and everyone here so much by example. But mostly because that was his sense of humor, he always made light of things.”
When he fled Iran and had to start over, he could have taken his life on a completely different path. One based on anger and emotion and frustration. But that’s not who he was. 6 months after my mom and dad had fled Iran, he received a phone call in the middle of the night notifying him that he has been Nationalized. This means it was a full confiscation of all assets including properties, bank accounts, everything, even their dogs. Ali hung up, turned over and went back to sleep and according to my mom was snoring again within minutes.
My whole life, but especially the last 15 years working with him, I have tried to absorb all I can out of him. We all probably have. His patience. His compassion. They way he conducted business. The way he treated people. The way he treated his wife. His children. His grandchildren. His family. His friends. I think my point in all of this is that we should carry that on as a family. His demeanor. His personality. We can carry on his reputation.
And he had the most incredible reputation. Everyone loved and respected Ali Ebrahimi. His kindness. His intelligence. His rationality. His presence. His love for his friends and family. And his respect for people. He did lead by example. Each one of us lets, live by the example of Ali Ebrahimi, and celebrate what a man he was, and cherish the time we had with him, and the HONOR to be loved by him.